


The Nervous Wreck That I Am

by DefaltManifesto



Series: Locked Out [3]
Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: AU after Series 2 and 5, Character Study, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Genderqueer Character, Genderqueer Franky, Multi, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 02:44:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1841377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes she's neither and she doesn't care what pronoun they use because she's Franky and she's learning to be comfortable as the man and woman she is.</p><p>Loosely connected to In Weakness and In Strength, but can be read as a stand alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Nervous Wreck That I Am

**Author's Note:**

> As a trans person, I am always saddened by the fact that there aren't very many genderqueer lead characters and Franky was the closest I've ever seen so I had to write a story. Plus I was still feeling inspired by my other Effy/Tony (which technically comes before this), so ta-dah, another oneshot. 
> 
> I've got a few more ideas in mind too so yay~
> 
> Title comes from Locked Out by Red Wire Black Wire

Before Rich became a settled man, they get high and make out on his bedroom floor. His hair is soft in her fingers and his hands on her hips didn't feel like shackles. She falls asleep halfway though another kiss, too worn out from Mini's drama to stay conscious for very long. She wakes up with Rich's arm slung over her and his hair in her mouth. She spits it out and smacks his chest, unable to help a little giggle when he flails his way awake. He looks down at her with something like adoration in his eyes and she leans up to kiss him again.

What she and Rich have doesn't last long, but she doesn't mind. Besides, she doesn't know if she's even a girl and he's obviously in love with Grace and she'd be a cruel bitch to ruin something like that.

 

-.-

 

Matty's touch on her leg in some random forest is like a brand. She's nice and out of her head, staring up into the trees and just _totally, beautifully_ disconnected from her body but then he's touching her and _god_ why does it always have to be so uncomfortable? Always.

Later at Grace's after not-wedding party, Franky has this feeling that she should apologize for turning into a total freak and pushing him away when she should have just stuck it out. She doesn't though, because she doesn't fucking owe him anything. He's a total mind fuck and yeah she wants to be normal and touched and loved just as much as the next person, but he's not going to be able to give her that; she knows better.

           

-.-

 

Mini's girl crush would be cute, if Franky knew what to do about it. Franky lets her have a go though. She wants to erase the memory of Matty's hands from her skin and it's impossible to mistake long, slim fingers that flutter across her skin for anything but Mini. They don't last long; Franky doesn't expect it to. Mini gets bored and she leaves, and Franky doesn't try to make it last. She coasts through the rest of her final year, falling back on the aloofness that keeps her safe and out of harms way.

She watches Rich and Grace enjoy one another's company, watches the way they look at each other with such love and adoration. She watches and pretends the pain of jealousy in her chest doesn't exist.

 

-.-

 

Franky's not sure why, but she decides to go to Cardiff for university. Her dads are proud of her, just as they always have been. She's not sure what she wants to do, so she takes a ton of different courses. In her Intro to Filmography class, she meets Effy Stonem.

She can tell just looking at her that she's been through some shit. She doesn't talk much, but she has this stare that makes Franky feel like she can't hide. She hates it and she loves it all at once. She stares at Effy as much as Effy stares at her and tries not to think about what she looks like under her clothes, or the way her tits will feel in her hands, or the shape of her lips as her orgasm rips through her.

 

-.-

 

She meets Tony when she shows up to the tutoring hall for her psychology class. He's wearing a blue shirt that exactly matches the shade of the blue strap of Effy's bra and black skinny jeans that make her eyes crawl over him hungrily. She flushes when she realizes what she's doing but then she sits down in front of him and demands his help with understanding some of the concepts.

He licks his lips and his bright blue eyes stare into her the way Effy's had. She thinks they might be related, because there's no way that stare isn't genetic.

"What's your name?" he asks.

"Franky..."

"Tony Stonem."

She mouths his name and then looks down at her textbooks.

 

-.-

 

"You don't seem to fit your skin very well."

Franky nearly jumps out of her skin at the low voice in her ear and the delicate hands on her hips. She whirls around and even in the darkness of the club she recognizes Effy's eyes.

"What?"

"All this skin," Effy says, her hand trailing down Franky's bare shoulder to her wrist, then to her hip which is exposed because Franky only put on a skimpy bit of sparkly cloth she'd stolen out of Mini's closet a long time ago. "You're trying too hard."

"I don't-"

"Dance with me."

Effy's hips are mesmerizing as she circles them and lifts her hands above her head. Franky's mouth feels dry and she reaches out to place her hands on them. Effy grinds back against her, her ass rubbing hard against Franky's crotch to the beat of the music and Franky's never felt so god damn powerful. Her lips drop to Effy's neck and she kisses and sucks at it as they dance.

"C'mon, stop being so safe," Effy breathes as she cranes her head back to rest against Franky's shoulder.

Franky tightens her grip and yanks Effy back against her and she could almost explode from the moan Effy produces. The song ends and Effy turns and drifts back away from, and Tony bleeds out of the crowd like they'd been planning it the whole time. Effy arches back against him and he smiles at Franky as one of his hands slides up Effy's skirt.

She flushes bright red and runs.

 

-.-

 

Franky dons her flannel dress shirt, suspenders, and dress slacks for the first time in two years the next day. Effy's coy smile across the classroom makes her flush, but she hates the stickiness that floods her panties. She hates how it makes her feel, and she crosses her legs and pretends that's she's not a woman.

 

-.-

 

"You're quite handsome."

Tony's compliment slides its way between explaining Freud's ideas and why said ideas are total bullshit. Franky looks up at him, heart fluttering.

"What?"

"You, you're handsome like this. A right 'strapping young lad'," Tony says with a smirk.

Franky slams her book shut and gets to her feet. "I don't need you to mock me, I just want to make sure I know this coursework."

Tony's hand wraps around her wrist and the smirk vanishes in exchange for a look of concern. "I wasn't mocking you. Can't I think you're beautiful and handsome?"

 "I'm a....I'm a girl, I can't be handsome," Franky says as she withdraws her hand, and her own words feel like she's stabbing herself in the gut.

"You don't sound too sure of that," Tony says.

"I don't need another head fuck. You have a girlfriend, don't you?" It's starting to feel like Liv and Matty all over again.

"Effy? No she's my sister," Tony says, but his tongue is poking out of the corner of his mouth as he gives a slow and lazy smirk. "She likes you though. So do I. We like each other too. It's all very...hush, hush."

"So why are you telling me?" Franky asks. She doesn't care what they do, even if they are siblings.

"Because we want you." Tony writes down an address and slides it across the table. "Up to you, Franky Fitzgerald."

Franky grabs the paper and storms out.

 

-.-

 

Against her better judgment, she goes to their house, a small thing on the edge of Cardiff. Tony makes them frozen pizza and then the three of them pile onto the only bed in the house and watch bad reality television. Tony kisses her good night and Effy hugs her close. She doesn't know what it means.

 

-.-

 

"This isn't going to work, whatever you and Tony are doing," Franky says after class one day.

"Why not?" Effy smacks her bubblegum.

"Because I don't know what I am. I'm a nutcase and I don't know if I'm a girl or a boy and you don't want that mess on your hand," Franky says.

"You don't have to be one of those things," Effy says with a slim raised eyebrow. "Be whatever you want."

 

-.-

 

"Don't call me a girl," Franky says when he slides into his seat across from Tony.

"Okay. Just male pronouns is it?" He opens his own textbook and doesn't even seem slightly bothered.

"I don't know," Franky says. "For now."

Tony calls him Frank when he leaves and he pretends that it doesn't make his heart pound in a good way. Then he realizes he doesn't have to pretend anymore and smiles.

 

-.-

 

Effy and Tony learn without Franky having to say anything. Some days, Franky is Frank and he wears his dress shirts and jackets and boxers and some days she's Franky and wears the wardrobe she bought when she was trying to be what Mini and Matty wanted, and they just know and adjust, and sometimes she's neither and she doesn't care what pronoun they use because she's Franky and she's learning to be comfortable as the man and woman she is.

She sleeps with Effy first. Tony watches and tells her where to put her hands and Franky learns what Effy looks like without her clothes, and what her tits feel like in her hands, and what shape her lips take when her orgasm rips through her. She learns the taste of Effy's mouth and the way she becomes so heartbreakingly vulnerable after it all. She learns to hold her close and keep her warm between her own body and Tony's.

She learns that sometimes Tony wakes up screaming and that she's supposed to leave the room if he does. She watches him turn into a child and cling to Effy's leg as she flees the room and when she's let back in, she kisses him until he falls asleep.

On days that she's Frank, he won't have sex with Effy. Instead, he sits in the chair that is usually Tony's and tentatively rubs his clit while watching Tony and Effy fuck on their bed. It's hot, and he doesn't mind getting aroused, not as much as he used to. Afterwards, when Effy is sleeping in her usual curled position on the bed, Tony walks over to him and parts his legs and tongues his clit until he cums. He never touches anything else, seeming to know that anything else will have Frank pushing him away and curling up on himself.

He doesn't orgasm with Effy ever, too concentrated on her pleasure to chase his own. Even when he's Franky, she still struggles to cum and Effy only manages to get her to do it once, at least at first. One night, while Effy is studying for a test, Tony lays her out on the bed and worships her.

He learns that Franky doesn't like her tits being touched ever, learns that there's a space on her upper thigh that makes her tremble, and learns that if he goes slow, he can slide two fingers inside her dripping cunt and make her come so hard she screams his name and her legs tremble around him. He learns what she tastes like on his tongue as he eases her down from her orgasm.

It's slow, and Franky's not sure if it's enough for them, but they never complain.

 

-.-

 

A year later, Effy and Tony insist that Frank moves in with them. Frank agrees and they clear out one of the closets so he has a place to put his male wardrobe and female wardrobe. Effy helps him pick out his clothes, saying that being male is good and all, but seriously, suspenders? Frank laughs and lets her slowly change his wardrobe to something that they can color coordinate with.

On one hot summer evening, Franky gets an idea.

"I want to have sex with you," she says as she walks into the living room where Effy and Tony are watching TV.

"Franks, you have sex with me all the time, you don't have to announce it," Tony says.

"No, I mean, I want to try having you...inside of me," Franky says, and she wraps her arms around her chest, suddenly self-conscious now that the words are out of her.

"Oh. Right now?" Tony gets to his feet and Effy has a broad smile Franky rarely sees on her lips.

"Yeah, sure," Franky says.

Effy grabs her hand and tugs her into the bedroom. She's shaking because she's nervous but as Tony stretches out on top of her she can feel herself calming down. His hands are big and broad as they rub over her hips but it doesn't scare her. He kisses her for a long time, just slow movements of his lips and the occasional possessive edge that makes the space between her legs start to get wet, but even that doesn't make her as uncomfortable as it used to.

He eases back and takes off her knickers and sets about mouthing at her clit the way he does when she can't think of having anything near the much to female part of her body. She sighs and arches her back, smiling as Effy wiggles her way behind her so Franky has something to brace herself against.

She reaches up and curls her fingers in Effy's hair as Tony slides one finger into her. He's slow, lets her get accustomed to it and he never stops licking her clit, not giving her a chance to feel even a bit insecure. She doesn't know how long she lies there between Effy's legs with Tony slowly and methodically stretching her but by the time Tony shifts so that her legs are slung loosely around his hips, she's not nervous anymore.

When he slides inside her, her eyes squeeze shut tight and then open again with a gasp as he bottoms out. He's watching her face intently, like he's worried he's done something wrong, and Effy's hands are sliding up and down her arms, and Franky's never felt so much at once, never felt so overloaded with sensation that it makes her feel like she's burning up from the inside out.

After spending so long trying to be as out of her body as she can, it's a relief to feel everything they're giving her and not be afraid of it, to want it, to want more and-

"Tony, yes..."

His lips find hers and he thrusts inside her, slow and steady, pushing her back against Effy's firm weight. His lips fall to her neck eventually and Effy kisses her instead. Franky reaches down to rub her clit because as good as Tony's cock feels inside her, she needs something else too. When she crashes over the edge, it's hardly the most powerful orgasm she's ever had, but it still makes her tremble around him and she can't wipe the smile off her face.

Tony pulls out of her and she reaches down to grasp his cock. She sits up, Effy's arms around her waist, and tugs the condom off before she begins to stroke. Tony's eyes close and he thrusts up into her hand until he comes. Franky smiles as he kisses her, and shivers when Effy grabs her wrist to lick Tony's release off of her fingers.

For a long few hours, they lie in bed together, a tangled and naked mess and Franky realizes she's finally home.


End file.
